Watching Paint Dry

There are two sports that I really cannot stand to watch. I realize that this may put me in the minority especially in this area where it seems that both sports seem to have legion of fans (particularly in my own family).

The first is NASCAR racing. How anyone can sit for 3-4 or sometimes 5 hours at a time watching cars go around and around a track is beyond me. My mother regales us with stories of her youth and spending weekends at the area race track watching local drivers compete. I can sit through maybe an hour of televised auto racing before I excuse myself and do something more constructive. I do enjoy cheering for my favorite drivers. These are not the more popular stars including Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Jeff Gordon, etc. I chose to chose the most colorful name I can think of, usually one who is nowhere near competing. Names like Dick Trickle (Tricky Dicky or Trick Dickle as I used to call him), Hideo Fukuyama ( I wonder if he is related to Chicago Cubs acquisition Kosuke Fukudome sorry if I insulted the new Cubs outfielder), or my new favorite… AJ Allmendinger.

My second favorite sport to fall asleep to is professional golf. Honestly, whenever I hear that someone hit a birdie I say… what kind? At a recent extended family gathering where everyone was gathered around the television quietly waiting for Tiger Woods or some other player to take a shot, I shouted “THREE AND A HALF!!!!” They were not amused. When I want to watch golf on television I stick with the classics: Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore. And if I want to play a good round, I much prefer going eighteen holes at the area miniature golf course.

Sometimes I really think I would prefer watching paint dry or worse yet….. The multi-colored bar code test pattern on the television screen HAHAHA.

3 thoughts on “Watching Paint Dry”

  1. I do believe you showed an affinity for that test pattern last time I saw you… 😀 How about watching fishing? Just so you know I could never tolerate actually doing the fishing let alone watching it. Of course I don’t like watching any sport, so that’s just me.

  2. standupfclef

    I’d bet you’d find that where we realize that some televised professional sports are excellent cures for insomnia, the same would be true for the sports watcher to catch zzz’s during a performance of a professional orchestra or a theatre production. My thinking is, “us humans don’t know what we like we just like what we know.” I’ll take the orchestra and theatre over sports.

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