I’m going on my third month as a youth group leader, and while I always enjoy myself at church on Wednesday nights, in recent weeks I’ve also felt a strange kind of dread. I couldn’t put my finger on it until last night. There was a huge drama in our small group of 7th grade girls involving a friendship between two of the girls. The situation made for a lot of tension and was also a huge distraction from our lesson. After group, I mentioned this to the other 7th grade girls leader and the youth pastor, and neither seemed surprised, especially given the dramatic nature of a specific girl in my group – their words, not mine. I came home around 9 pm last night with 4 of my own little kids to put to bed while feeling entirely emotionally drained. I realized that even though I enjoy being a youth group leader for the most part, that strange sense of dread that I feel in the beginning of the week has to do with bracing myself for the weekly Wednesday night drama. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the other 7th grade girls leader’s attitude has greatly improved since the beginning of the year. Also, a few weeks ago, two students were transferred into my group because their friends were in my group – so now I have the entire clique in my group, and I get to oversee and facilitate all of their various factions. Wonderful. I have a theory that the other leader was very discouraged and emotionally drained by these girls and their drama by the end of last year, and so when I showed up, I was given the clique and their dramatics for my group. Ah, the joys of being the newbie. I’m happy to help, and I’m glad the other leader seems much happier, but I really need to find a way to encourage these girls to shift their priorities a little bit.
Complicating the matter is the fact that we meet in the youth pastor’s office, so it’s really hard to supervise everyone at once, especially when there is drama. I have girls wanting to poke through his drawers, lie under his computer desk, read his post-it notes and memos, and to sit on his desk. I’m starting to feel more like a babysitter than a small group leader, and the girls in my group are turning 13; it’s not like they’re little kids (which is what I’m dealing with all day and at night AFTER youth group).
Don’t get me wrong; I do enjoy it; I’m just really frustrated right now. I really like the fact that it’s something I get to do with my husband (the small group part is only about 40 minutes. For the rest of the two hours, we get to do things together), and I like hanging out with the other leaders and the girls when they’re not acting crazy. I’m just saying that those times are getting few and far between. I need to find a way to focus the kids and also to get our group back to concentrating on the weekly lessons. We can still have fun while we do that, but step #1 will probably be to get us out of the pastor’s office – I don’t even know where to start if not there.
When I signed up for this gig, I failed to realize that aside from the long-shot of the Chicago Cubs making the World Series, my two favorite yearly live televised events – the Country Music Awards and the Academy of Country Music Awards – air on Wednesday nights. I cannot express how much I enjoy watching these shows, and it’s kind of like an athletic event – it’s not really the same to watch them after the fact. One year, I even did a live blog while watching one of these awards shows, and it was hectic, but a lot of fun. Tempted as I am to call in sick to youth group next week, I could not look seven 7th graders in the eyes and tell them that I missed our group to stay home and watch the Country Music Awards, especially after the major drama that was this week. So next week, I will actually be avoiding cnn.com and the media from late Wednesday night until whenever I will get a chance to watch the recorded CMAs – which might not be until the weekend!!! Yes, I’m pouting, but I’m going to put my best face forward and just do it. But I reserve the right to complain about it all I want on my blog!!!!!
HEHE… Just DOOOOO IT! Catchy. 13 year olds lying under a desk? Must be girls. AAAAHHHH… the drama and it’s not even theatre related 😉
Does the youth pastor give you any material to go over during small group time? I know with our 4th/5th grade ministry over here we have questions from the lesson we talk about, applying the lesson to their lives. Of course there is sometimes someone who just wants to do his own thing instead of listening, but we try to get them back into the discussion which isn’t always easy and I have had to talk to parents in the past. I know with young teenage/almost teenage girls management is quite a bit different- just keep talking to the pros at your church and hang in there. I wish I could give you some more useful advice. Just remember to keep things Christ-centered as that’s what all of you are there for.
We also have questions that apply the lesson to their daily lives. Each question reminds each girl of about 3 stories she wants to tell. At least they usually do answer the questions – the ones we have time to get to around all the drama, anyway.
The positive is that your girls just love you! They trust you enough to share their problems with you. I think we need to find a way to get you out of Nate’s office. Come on into my room. The boys can behave themselves!