December Blues…


Well, it is December and the Bears are 9-3…  However, I am not feeling particularly joyful.

For one — one of my major clients has vanished with a large unpaid bill.  A payment we were really relying on and our budgeting included.  I sure hope she is ok.  I am worried that something has happened; though hopefully it is just that she doesn’t want / cannot pay her bill and is avoiding me.  That has happened several times before with clients.

For two — my (other) server is under a major DDoS attack.  And, while I am not going to post the site name here (don’t want this server to get attacked) it is my site that outs online scammers that got threatened and then attacked.  It has already cost me one client and will undoubtedly cost me tons in terms of losing visitors.  The two major sites on that server get a LOT of visitors through Google.  But, since it is now basically offline, it is only a matter of time before Google de-lists my sites costing me potentially tens of thousands in revenue.  I have worked so hard to get those two sites to be major forces; I am SO BUMMED.

For three — my health has been icky-poo.  Nothing serious, but with all the other stress it is just something else I don’t need.  I have had headaches on most days, back pain which sometimes mounts to a sharp-pain-attack, I have some weird cracking noise and pain in my knee, and my eyesight has gotten blurry, and my stomach is often aching.  I guess I am just THAT old.

For four — my investor has bailed.  I had a partner/investor on a project and he wants out.  This means $7500 must be paid (back to him).  $7500 that is long ago invested.  Now, legally, I do not have to give him a thing back but ethically/morally I have to return his money.  After all, I am delayed more than FIVE MONTHS on the project.  This just comes at a really bad time for that.

Last December I suffered a catastrophic HD failure when my HD crashed, was low-level-formatted and then when I went to restore from the backup — it was damaged.  It cost me several clients, lots of money, and a very big headache.

Last December Charity, the dog we loved as a member of the family, died.

December has always been one of my favorite times — Christmas!  And, now that we celebrate for the real reason (Jesus), Christmas has become even more special.  However, after these past two Decembers I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  In every way other than Charity dying (which is a HUGE one), this December is much worse than last one.  I cannot remember a time I felt so un-optimistic in my adult life.

I have no choice but to work hard to try and salvage and fix what I can and to lay the rest at the foot of the Cross.  I have trust in God’s plan for me and know that He will keep His promise not to give me more than I can handle; just as He has kept it all my life.

After all, I am still very blessed.  I have been given much; so much is to be expected of me.  I have an amazing wife, loving children, dear friends, I live in a free country, I have a roof over my head, plenty to eat, and much more.  Too many blessings to even list…

And, the trials I face are nothing compared to the issues some of my friends and family have had to face or are facing.  Some have lost loved ones, some have friends moving away, some have serious medical issues, some have stress and pressure well beyond mine.  And some have not come to know Christ yet and to accept His sacrifice.

So, even though I am feeling sorry for myself, I won’t complain.  I have TONS of reasons to give worship and praise to our Creator!  Especially at Christmas time where we celebrate the greatest gift ever given.

Derek, do you see who that is in the video!?  Christ Saves!!

5 thoughts on “December Blues…”

  1. Hey, pal! Getting it out there in the open will let everyone know that you are only human. Your strength (yes, strength) and fortitude speak volumes. And above all your FAITH is SUPER inspiring. And those around you are here for you as always! Love you all! Hold your head up, keep that Faith going and He will lead you.

  2. I feel those December blues too – all the things you mentioned plus others from years past add up to it being easy to have a not so good taste in one’s mouth for December. But it’s here, and I am looking forward to getting to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas this year in a more meaningful way than we ever have in the past. Hang in there, and as I always tell you, don’t get caught up in the stress of it all, and use me for comfort when you need me. I love you.

  3. I’m not too attached to December myself. Hmm. But if you ever need a sympathetic ear, I’m there for you. Every now and again it is good to get stuff off your mind. I am indeed sorry you are having a rough time. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  4. Your James 1 faith is very inspiring. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…” Not easy, but you seem to have it down. That said, I haven’t been doing well on prayer, but if a friend in need can’t bring me back, what can?

    PS- The one in the video looked familiar, but I didn’t know. Thank you youtube tags! That certainly brings back memories. Speaking of which, MOS is now doing West Side Story. Our Jekyll/Hyde is the lead in that show now.

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