Rectal Gas Policy


We’re all adults here, right?  Then you’d think the following sign spotted in the band room at a local high school would be less amusing:

Rectal Gas Policy
– Any student who releases audible rectal gas will receive one after school detention.
– Any student who “reacts” to audible or inaudible rectal gas will also receive  one after school detention.
If you feel the need to relieve yourself of rectal gas you must stand in the hallway to pass it.

Where do I start?  First, it must be said that I was visiting the school while attending a wonderful show choir performance starring (as far as I’m concerned) a good friend and my favorite teenager.  She did an awesome job!

After the concert, another friend gave us a brief tour of the new school where she works.  It’s a really nice school, but we were surprised to find that they apparently have an entire policy about a specific bodily function.  I wonder if students actually go into the hallway to abide by the policy.  And it really makes one wonder about the incident(s) that caused the policy to be drafted in the first place.  Asking my friend to make copies of the policy so I can post it on my blog is juvenile, I’ll admit…  but funny is funny, and I find it amusing.  I wonder if the teacher realizes that strangers come through her band room sometimes and read her rectal gas policy?  Did she have to submit it to the principal for approval before posting it?  Hey, Derek, do any of the schools you sub at have a body function policy?

3 thoughts on “Rectal Gas Policy”

  1. Juvenile or not… how many people of any age would not get a chuckle out of the rule. I definitely would fall victim to the second part of the rule. No matter what age you are… exaggerated flatulence is funny… How many of us have seen Blazing Saddles?

  2. I find these jokes in movies kind of sad actually- appealing to the lowest common denominator and all that. I have never seen such a policy myself, and rest assured if I did and was subbing in that room, the kids would get a free day from it as I have better things to do than waste my time taking the names of kids who pass gas. Those who fake it, however…

    I hate to top you on this Taylhis, but I just read about a student arrested for doing this in class. Okay, maybe it’s not a topper as there was a little more to it, but here it is nonetheless:

    Florida Boy Arrested For Gas Attack

  3. Well, ok, probably not funny if you work with kids who aren’t yours all day – that’s probably where the teacher who wrote this was coming from. And I feel badly for the FL boy – he was obviously causing a disturbance but there really wasn’t anything else to do with him than to give him a criminal record?
    Understandable that some don’t appreciate the humor in silly slapstick comedy, but sometimes for some people, it’s a fun way to lighten a mood. With all the talk about Blazing Saddles lately, I’ll have to see that one again as I don’t remember much. I just read yesterday about how Mel Brooks wanted John Wayne to play the part of the Waco Kid, but Wayne said, “I can’t be in this picture; it’s too dirty. But I’ll be the first one in line to see it.”

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