Sing with me… “Friday night I crashed your party, Saturday I said I’m sorry…” Okay, so I was actually invited but then the song doesn’t quite fit.  Oh well.  Anyway, this story starts before Friday, actually earlier this week.  I was given advice to see what represented a 10th wedding anniversary.  So I did a web search and found this site with information on anniversaries.  We all know about silver and gold wedding anniversaries, but the years leading up to them are rather short of the glamour silver and gold bring, with things like paper, cotton, leather, and wood.  10th anniversary is tin or aluminum, so I got the idea to purchase them some snacks in tins.  Well, apparently stores only sell snacks in tins around Christmastime- they were nowhere to be found.  I finally found something kind of lame at Meijer, but it was in a tin.  I would be giving them another gift along with it so I figured as long as the idea got across the tin would be fine.  Next day, I had a job in 8th grade and I noticed the teacher had a tin in his room- full of puzzles.  Ding- of course.  Games and puzzles can come in tins, and my friends are wild for games! So, back in Meijer after school I found some options in domino sets (double 6, 9, and 12), and Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader Disney edition.  I leaned toward the dominos, but decided to check Walmart across the street first.  Good thing, as their domino sets were half the price of Meijer’s!  But wait, they had several more items in tins including a classic game set, a couple of jigsaw puzzles, and a Phase 10 card game.  It took me awhile to decide what to get, but C & L know what the final selection was.  So, I wrapped them up, found a half-day job for Friday AM, went to bed, couldn’t sleep, canceled the job at about 4:30 after only short bursts of sleep, went back to bed until 9:30, then got up, finished getting ready, ate, and headed to Ohio, stopping only once for gas and a snack (what a sentence, whew!).  Once I finally gave the gifts away later in the evening C guessed something about me wrapping the gifts in tin foil and I had to kick myself for not thinking of it.  Well, the paper was the color of tin anyway.

Backing up just a little, I arrived at 3:45 and checked into the motel.  $25 per night- even better than the amazing $29 C told me on the phone!  Not too many frills, but I wouldn’t be there except to sleep so I didn’t care.  I finally arrived at the theatre around 5:40 and discovered several people were already there and I didn’t really need to delay at the motel as long as I did.  I saw C’s mom for the first time in a long time, as well as the rest of the family and friends there.  Once they started it was short but emotional.  One of the two (I won’t say which, though most of you readers already know!) broke down while reading which only added to the powerful sincerity of what s/he said.  Then it was off to the reception across the street where I had my second meal of the day (I skipped lunch) and, well I’ll just skip ahead since this part is already in my friends’ blogs.  We all had a good time.  When we went to their house afterward, they graciously allowed the few of us to stay for a short time and we had a fun few rounds of a Tribond game before we all retired for the night.

The next day they gave me some options for a fun, family activity- drive an hour to the Toledo Zoo or even longer to an animal park.  Umm…  Since I drove four hours the day before and would drive four hours again the next day, the animal park was really a no-go.  The zoo might have been an option, but I had seen the zoo just a year before around the same time of year so we finally decided to go to town.  It wasn’t bad.  The important part was just hanging out together, so it really didn’t matter much what we did.  The kids enjoyed some playtime at Menards, and then we went to a couple other places, including a few runs of go-karting (their eldest was visibly upset when she was asked to sit out first since not all could go at once, but I think she got over it after going twice in a row.  Everyone- including us adults as we had to watch their youngest who couldn’t ride- rode two out of the three runs) before having dinner at a pizza buffet.  Since it was a Chuck-E-Cheese style (somewhat) place I wasn’t expecting much from the pizza, but it was actually pretty good.  Not Gino’s East or Giordano’s good, but for sure better than Dominos or Little Caesar’s.  They even took requests, so I jokingly asked for something with jalapeños, and they actually obliged- not an unusual request I guess.  Well, when they have peanut butter and jelly pizza I guess nothing’s unusual!  The kids had their fun at the games there, and then we rented a blu-ray movie to watch through my computer on their HDTV.  Unfortunately, due to draconian copy protection and software issues it took some time to get the movie going, but we were glad when we finally did.

Hmm.  This post is getting a little long so I think I will chop it here with a:

Well, more than a decade, actually – Friday is the 10th anniversary of our wedding day, although we were together for a few years before we got married.  We would actually have celebrated our 10th anniversary over a year ago if we had gone through with an elopement at the chapel in the Mall of America we contemplated back in the day, but we had a beautiful wedding a year and a half later instead.  At the time, I was sure I had the man of my dreams, so it wasn’t cold feet stopping me, but I guess I was just too immature to get out from the parental nest at the time to get married after only knowing my husband for a few weeks – I was only nineteen, after all, twenty by the time we actually tied the knot – not even old enough to legally toast my own marriage – hehe!  But anyway, back to the awesome weekend here in 2009…

We had a wonderful anniversary celebration.  Our family and friends are so awesome; we had a great time and got lots of lovely gifts, including a brand-new top notch microwave – now I just have to figure out how to work it!  But seriously, that was so nice; they didn’t have to do that – we were just glad they came to celebrate with us.  We had a little ceremony at the community theater that’s become such a huge part of our lives, and I was SO nervous for WEEKS beforehand about getting on stage and talking in front of people.  The Sunday before the ceremony, my husband and I actually had it worked out where HE would read the vows I wrote to him.  But as the week went on, I just couldn’t rest with that decision – I wanted to say how I felt and be the one to read my own words – and I’m really glad I found it in myself to do so.   Besides, my anxiety about the event actually calmed as the day went on – the miracle I was praying for, maybe?  A small miracle; no one’s life or health was at stake, but I was far from my normal “freak out”, and that was new for me.  So maybe I will find it within myself to audition  for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, ha.  I do love the show and could probably handle being in the chorus, but I don’t think I’d be able to sing in front of the director to try out.  And what if I actually did that and didn’t even get cast in the chorus – YIKES!  Just not worth it to me – I’ll have to settle for taking my usual role as “groupie” and seeing every performance if my husband makes it into the show.

So anyway, back to this weekend – after the ceremony, we went across the street and had dinner, which  was very good.  There was dancing, ahem, “dancing” – better put it in quotes because, well, you’d understand if you saw the video, hehe.  But the usual party dances were fun as always – The Chicken Dance, YMCA, The Macarena – though time has allowed me to forget how to do that one – I’ll have to practice for the next party!  It was awesome to spend the evening with family and friends and to watch my little ones dance in their gorgeous matching outfits my mom had made for them – here’s a pic of my two middle girls, Disney and Samantha with their cousin Austin:

And it was super-fun to be able to slow dance with hubby again – been awhile since we got to do  that too!  Thank you sweetheart, for the best 10 years of my life – I love you!

And for all the guests who attended and are reading this, thanks SO much for coming – it was a BLAST!!!  See you in 10!  Well, ok, see you before that, but we do plan on doing this again for our 20th anniversary!

Oh my goodness! I’m so excited, I’m not sure how to express myself right now! Goodwill should be open by Monday the 13th! That means I’ll have a job again and will be able to start saving my money again. Ugh, I hated the staying at home all day. I was so bored and kept reading stories online. Fanfiction.net became a very good friend to me during these months of boredom. I searched over and over again for some job, but could never find anything. Goodwill reopening has brought hope into my future. This means, Tony and I will be able to get an apartment soon (I seriously hope so anyway). It would be so nice to actually have a place of our own, though we wouldn’t be living together in it until after we’re married. I don’t expect us to actually have the money to get a place until after the wedding anyway.
Goodwill will be located near Wal-Mart temporarily, and then by the end of the summer, it will be somewhere else. I’m not sure where that is, but at the moment, I don’t really care. I’m going to be working again!

Tonight was an evening of celebration. I had a wonderful time with a bunch of friends celebrating a very special occasion. I’m sure someone else’s blog will give a complete rundown of the events, so I won’t here. But I did enjoy myself. This post is not about that joy and celebration, but more a feeling of loss, when later events happened.

For the past few years, I’ve always had a few bittersweet feelings at wedding and anniversary celebrations. These were events that would remind me of what I lost. This was the very first such event in the past five years that I did not have the deep feeling of loss. Two of my daughters were married and those events nearly knocked me flat emotionally.

It has been over 5 years since I last held my wife in my arms. 5 years when the wedding vows were fulfilled. You never really think about that clause “until death do us part”. At least not until it happens. Today at the celebration, I did not think about the loss I had, only the joy being shared. A good evening.

But then it happened. I was waiting for my youngest daughter to finish up a game, so I did some shopping at the 24 hour place. I ran into a man who I knew and, I haven’t seen him in over 5 years. He did not know of my wife’s death. The question “How is your wife?” blew me out of the water. I wasn’t expecting to have to tell that to anyone in this area. I live in a small community, I really thought everyone knew.

The comfortable day took a drastic turn with one short question. Emotions filled my every thought. I hesitated on the answer. It was like a punch in the gut. We then shared a few memories and parted. Slowly, the flood of feelings calmed. This is the way of life and death. The memories of our past can warm us as well as send chills down our spines. Those we loved live on through us, and in the stories we tell. In that I found some peace

A while ago, my husband suggested that I blog everything I do.  While that seemed a little outrageous and time consuming to me, I am going to share this email I just typed to a long lost friend from high school.  I got an email from her the other day out of the blue saying that she had just gotten married, so I sent her back congratulations and a brief summary about my life for the last 12 years.  I got a reply from her and found out she’s still in school (poor thing – we’re 30!).  I typed back such a long response that I thought it might as well be a post on my blog as well – 2 birds with one stone, so they say…  Now you don’t have to hack into my email to read my personal stuff!  That’s a thinly veiled reference to my last post about the dueling newscasters, one who was hacking into the other’s email.  Here’s the email I sent to my friend – in case you’re wondering why it gets random in places, those are answers to questions she asked me.

Great to hear back from you!  So are you going to be a lawyer when you’re done with school?  Where are you guys living?  We are living in a little town in Ohio – I think it just might be the most perfect place to live, for us anyway, we hated Illinois and city living.  It’s very rural out here.  Everyone knows each other; they’re all very friendly.  It’s small, not even 9,000 people, and it’s surrounded by farms.  But we love it; we still have Walmart, restaurants, a movie theater – all the modern conveniences.  It’s so nice to send the kids to school and not worry about them like I would at schools in the Chicago area.

So you are planning to have kids then?  I wouldn’t say I’m ahead of you – maybe in the insanity department, it gets pretty loud and crazy around here!  But seriously, being pregnant is actually kinda fun, especially when you can feel the baby moving.  I had pretty good pregnancies; though I had gestational diabetes with 2 of them, and I had to take shots of insulin.  Of course that wasn’t fun, but it’s pretty easy to do things when you know it’s for the good of the baby.  I can’t say much about the deliveries.  My first one was really long, my second one was awful, my third one was very easy, and my fourth one was horrible.  If I have any more, I’ll probably have to have another c-section, but at least then I don’t have to go through labor.  It’s different for everyone.  I have a friend who has 5 kids and she never needed any drugs with any of her deliveries.  Her longest delivery was 2 hours from start to finish, shortest was 20 minutes.  Not only that, but all her kids starting sleeping through the night before they were a month old!  She makes me jealous!  But anyway, it’s all worth it in the end.  My last delivery was so horrible, yet I’m already back to wanting more kids…  if only they’d let us sleep…  And it’s so neat to see how different the kids’ personalities are.  My second oldest, Sammie, was so crazy in the womb it felt like she was kicking my organs around.  She is still crazy and is our most challenging kid.  Disney was a really easy delivery, and she’s our sweetest kid – so happy, friendly, and cuddly.

Our marriage is going great!  My only regret is not marrying him sooner – we had a long engagement, otherwise we would have celebrated our tenth anniversary last year or the year before!  He is still perfect – he helps around the house (understatement) and takes care of the kids…  we definitely have a 50-50 household.  Lots of husbands don’t do anything but work, so I consider myself very lucky.  He works from home, has his own business, which can be challenging because I have to keep the kids away from him while he’s working.  He is very good with computers and has lots of great ideas, so he supports us while my work is taking care of the kids.  And I’m never bored – there is always plenty to do with 4 kids to take care of.  I think about going back to work sometimes, but only when I get sick of watching Barney and talking to a 2-year old all day.  I don’t think I’d like to go out and work outside the home though, unless it was at a zoo, and the zoo is an hour away.  Who knows what I’ll do when all the kids grow up and go to school all day.  The blog I’m doing that I sent you the link to makes a little bit of money, and I’m happy doing that in my spare time when I can get it.  We also do lots of volunteer work in the community.  We hold a few board positions for various community organizations, and we do lots for the local community theater group – Chris likes to be in plays.  He’s a great actor and singer, and he’s also written several plays.  I like to do behind-the-scenes stuff; we’ve directed shows together, and I like to produce and stage manage also.  I’m too shy to get on stage myself, and I’m starting to realize that my feelings on that will probably never change.

So what’s your new last name, did you change it?  Did you go to our 10 year high school reunion?  I didn’t because I was pregnant with Disney – she was born 10 days after the reunion!  I don’t have many fond memories of high school anyway; I didn’t really know a lot of people, compared to how big our class was.  Aside from you, Kristen, Kelly, and Sarah, the people I hung out with most of the time went to Glenbard West.

Did you have a big wedding?  Where was it, in IL?  Where are you going to school?  Do you still talk to Kristen or anyone else from high school?

It’s been fun catching up with you – send me some pictures of your wedding!  I will send you some more pictures of my family.  Our last family picture was taken probably over a year ago, but we will be due for another one soon so Christopher can be in it.  I’ll probably want one for Christmas cards.  When I get one, I will send it.  Take care!

While we’re on the subject of politics, I was reading about Jenna Bush’s upcoming nuptial’s today, and I discovered an interesting article about the parallels of opposites between Bush’s daughter and former President Roosevelt’s daughter Alice, both of whom will be married while their fathers were Presidents of the United States; Jenna’s wedding taking place over a century after Alice’s. 

From CNN.com:
Doug Wead, a former aide to President George H.W. Bush and author of a book on presidents’ kin, calls Jenna’s ceremony “the anti-Alice Roosevelt wedding.” Former President Theodore Roosevelt’s daughter was married in 1906.

“That wedding took place during a time of prosperity and peace; this one at a time of economic struggle and war,” Wead said. “The Roosevelt family was outgoing, flamboyant; this is a private family. That was one of the most popular presidencies in American history. Even John Adams didn’t go on Mount Rushmore, but Teddy Roosevelt went on Mount Rushmore. This is an unpopular presidency. Alice had no bridesmaids. Jenna has 14.”

And one more little tidbit about Presidential offspring:  Jenna is the 22nd child of a United States President to marry while their fathers were in office.  Not that money is usually a problem for a president, but I wonder how many of those were daughters whose daddy’s were expected to foot the wedding bills?

HELLO EVERY PEOPLE! Morat Notboratnichkov a return to OHHO on his a way west to continue covering for de news election of new owner America country. I a visit the strange person once again a working at the Super Kaiser Market or something like that. When I a enter the store in Edgertown, OHHO a woman say to me: “You are Morat!!!!”

“WOOLY SHEEP! YES, I A MORAT. You a know Morat?”

“Yes, I took my children to see your show. You made me laugh.”

“So… you have little people so a you must be married woman?”

“No, I am not married.”

“OH, then it would not a be possible for a you to go on de Wife Swap trading on tv box. So sorry. Thank you for a shopping at Super Kaiser Market.”

Very strange person he a tell me he sing in wedding on Fiffelday. He a tell me that many people had de running problem to de bathroom today. He a say some sandwich chicken was a bad. Every people they a call his house and ask if everyone was ok. Very strange person he say he still has running to bathroom problem and had to go many times at the work. Morat say that is a very funny 🙂 Strange man person did a not look amused.

OK every people, I a must go to sleep so I a can continue covering for news election of new owner. Morat say “NO WOMANS.” And what is name of Obabadaba… I a no like so much.

When choosing a best man for a wedding, a future groom generally would believe that the person asked to stand with him on his wedding day would actually show up.  Tuesday night, my cousin’s fiance found out that his best man had to work Saturday, the day of the wedding.  DUHHHHHHH!!! How long in advance was the ceremony scheduled?  I knew last May on which date the ceremony was going to be.  One has to wonder where this “best man’s” priorities lied.

Never fear, there were back ups in place.  Hopefully, one who fit the tux.  One was the groom’s brother Eric who was arriving from Pennsylvania with his boyfriend, Jamie on Tuesday.  Eric was already serving as an usher.

The other was a former schoolmate and friend of the groom.  In the end, the schoolmate was chosen.

So when choosing your best man, maid (matron) of honor, be sure that they will actually be able to schedule your ceremony around their busy life.

No… not for my own wedding. My cousin and her boyfriend were married today and my brother and I were the vocalists. Last night, he went to a karaoke bar and went home with no voice….GREAT!!! Thankfully, he was better today and at least made it through his song and the two songs we sang as duets. For some unknown reason, I seem to get nervous singing at functions like weddings and I do not know why. I stand in the choir loft high above the congregation whose backs are to me. So it is not as if I could be seen. Maybe that is it. I need to be seen. However, I am sure it sounded fine (no one ran from the building covering their ears).

Moments of the ceremony were hilarious. My 3 year old nephew served as ring bearer and the groom’s young niece was the flower girl. When the time came for the pair to process down the aisle, they were nowhere to be seen and the organist was getting near the end of the piece. All of a sudden like a shot, two little people come running down the aisle arm in arm. Honestly, the other attendants could have learned a thing or two about how to walk down the aisle.

During the ceremony, the little ones were all over the place. Noah kept dropping the pillow he carried up… luckily the rings were not on it. Then, they were constantly wandering around smelling flowers having a fun time. I think the priest was just as amused.

More hilarity continued at the reception during the cake cutting ceremony. Rich smeared a whole slice all over Charnel’s face (WTG…. welcome to the family). All Charnel managed was a little dab of frosting on Rich’s nose, forehead, and chin. Probably because she could not see him to get him any better.

So, anyway, another relation sent on her way to married life. I am starting to feel the pressure here.

UPDATE: To read more about the pre-wedding adventures follow the link here