Do you remember the days back in the 1980s and early 90s when cable television was  (and some of us still think) having issues and it seemed that every time you turned around, there would be some technical problem?  Ok… at least one of my commenting readers does not   Attempts made to correct the scrambled channels and finally you had to call the cable guy who seemed to take forever to arrive.  This is a running gag in the deliriously ingenious comedy from the decade of excess aptly entitled Delirious.

The late great John Candy stars as Jack Gable, writer on a popular soap opera full of the stock characters, outrageous situations, big hair, shoulder pads,  frequent plot twists, aaaaaand serious OVERACTING that frequent the suds.  Everything I love to howl at while having the rare occasion to catch a glimpse of during a dull weekday afternoon is there.  Through a fateful highway accident, Jack is transported into the world of the soap opera.  At first, it is a nightmare until he discovers that he can control the action by simply creating scenes on his typewriter (yes, a few people still used them in 1991).  So…. he writes himself into the role of the adventurous, handsome (?), rogue Jack Gates.

As I said, stock characters from every soap opera imaginable are present.  We have Carter Hedison, the rich industrial head of the central household (played by Raymond Burr).  His b-witchy  daughter, Rachel (played by Dynasty’s Emma Samms).  Plus the two sons vying for their father’s attention: the outcast with a patch and the terminally ill simpleton.  On a side note, the outdoor facade of the Hedison mansion bears a striking similarity to Stately Wayne Manor (60s Batman series).

Also along for the ride are the hapless physician who is the fiancee of Rachel and the goody-two-shoes heroine, Janet (played by Mariel Hemingway).  Twists and turns abound and some characters are not who or what they appear to be.  One of my favorite bits is the old “Hungarian Rhapsody Number 2 in C-Sharp Minor” by Franz Liszt gag.  Not familiar with the classical piece? Think Daffy and Donald and their piano duo from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

I believe a similar movie from the time, Soapdish, got more press but if you love to laugh at the ridiculous nature of everyday sudsers, check out Delirious.

Continuing in the soap opera theme of a couple of posts ago, I have one to share from my own experience on Thursday.  I didn’t even have to adjust the title to fit as it works well just as it is- they are of course young, and they were quite restless.  If anyone knows about autism, one of the things even the higher-functioning kids need is a structured environment and schedule- everything should remain the same from day to day.  It appears that the same holds true for kids with behavioral issues.  I was in a middle school BD/LD classroom on Thursday.  I should start by saying I was in this class before several times and have never really had a problem before Thursday.  The fact that there are usually two teachers and two assistants in the room has always helped a great deal.  However,  this time both teachers had subs.  Also, the day before both teachers and both assistants were out sick- believe it or not, this was not engineered!  Between these two events, the kids just fell apart.  It didn’t really help that the plans included having the kids do something they apparently never do even when the teachers are there.  This was mentioned, loudly I should add, by 6th grade and 8th grade students alike- “We never do vocabulary!”  In addition, they absolutely would not listen to any instruction from me.  I tried to follow the plans as given, but they were already trying to go ahead, and were actually getting upset at me for trying to do what the teacher had written.  Sigh.  In the end I just had to give up and let them work on their own.  The 8th graders I think actual did the work.  The 6th graders, on the other hand, for the most part chose to do their own thing.  One even brought in a video game book and would read only this.  The assistants tried too, but in the end they were just back after being sick for a few days so it really wasn’t worth getting on them until the teachers returned.

However, trying to get them to work was only part of this story.  All day many of the students had anger issues, threw thing st one another, and had to be pulled from their regular classes.  There were a couple of teachers or social workers who were in on and off trying to keep the kids in line.  Parents were called.  What a drama.  Even the class where I had only one student was a bust.  She came to school late the period before, ate her lunch for that period (she was supposed to be doing math), and continued eating it during her social studies period.  She refused to read until she was done, never mind that girls are generally good at multitasking.  Clearly she was just stalling.  Of course, when she did start reading she couldn’t concentrate thanks to other kids in the room creating problems.  If you’re confused at this, you’re not alone- it can be confusing.  Most of the day there are two classes going on at once- one by each teacher.  Additionally, there can be kids in there who cannot be in their regular classes for some reason or other (remember above where I mentioned pulling kids out of other classes).  At this time, I had social studies with 7th grade (the one student), but the other sub had math with 6th grade.  One of the 6th graders had big issues all day.

Well, tune in next time for hopefully a post with less drama.  Well at least a better day for me- drama is great for the reader 😛 .  Otherwise, I will have to work in another soap opera title. 😉

This title refers to a hilarious skit performed on The Carol Burnett Show as a spoof of those neverending daytime soaps. If you watch one episode and wait a year you haven’t missed anything. However, I have read articles that suggest that they are good training for the professional actor as pages of script need to be memorized in a very short time. Thanks again to my morning radio news I learned that a young man from my neck of the woods has recently left the soap As the World Turns to become a cast member of the primetime series, Friday Night Lights. Since i am unfamiliar with either show, I can only wish Zach Roerig the best of luck in his new role. Some of today’s (and yesterday’s) big names got their starts steaming up daytime television.

• Morgan Freeman
• Marisa Tomei
• Tommy Lee Jones
• Mark Hamill (before he became Luke Skywalker and the animated voice of the Joker)
• Leonard Nimoy (played a drug addict who checked into General Horsepital (oops Hospital…) thanks Mom)
• Demi Moore
• David Hasselhoff (HIM AGAIN… definitely one of yesterday’s so-called stars (sorry if I offend any of my European readers).. grudgingly included… thanks again, Mom… I dunno how she remembers all these so well)

These are of a few of the famous alumni of the suds. Since no one within my reach can think of any others, I will leave it open for further comments. But as I know that none of my regular readers have an undying passion for All My Dingbats, The Young and the Breastless, One Life to Die, or any of the others, I will leave it up to those silent critters from other parts of the US, Germany, Sweden, Canada, and wherever else you may be hiding.