We were grocery shopping the other night and my 9-year-old daughter was jumping around and telling us about some kind of dance she was learning in gym class.  “And then you dance with the pole…”, she said, and that got our attention – pole dancing in gym class?  She then went on to explain that they have 2 little poles (closer to stick-sized, it sounds like) the kids dance with…  but you can see where I’m coming from.  In this day and age, pole dancing has a much different meaning.  It’s something popularized in the adult entertainment industry, and because I’ve heard that it’s recently found its way into normal (?) families’ homes as a form of exercise.  Not that I know of anyone who actually exercises this way (and if any of my friends or family reading this have taken up pole dancing, I really don’t want to know about it, even if it is just for exercise!), but for a minute during my daughter’s story, I was worried that this form of “exercise” had become SO mainstream that they were teaching it in the schools!  I couldn’t be happier to be wrong, but the misunderstanding makes for a funny story!

School Picture Guy- a recurring guest star in Lincoln Peirce’s comic strip Big Nate, a strip nearly as old as the Simpsons.  He doesn’t appear much these days in his primary role meaning I had to go back to 2007 to find this one, skipping past roles as a deejay and a news photographer.  But weren’t school pictures in the fall you ask?  You are correct.  However, graduation pictures are apparently the currently happening thing.  Armed with equipment photographers never had when I was in school- a digital camera and color printer for instant samples to be exact, the photographers (there were two) invaded the gym space at the school I subbed in today.  Ordinarily this would be a sidebar, but since I was subbing for a gym teacher this became quite important.  In fact, two of the three gym teachers were out.  If you would be guessing by now that I was at a middle school you would again be correct.  Due to the pictures, an otherwise ordinary day became a lot more interesting.  Think of a middle school gym with room for a basketball court and pull-out bleachers.  Reduce this image by half, the amount of the gym in use by the photographers.  Now cram three classes of 30 plus each into this one side.  Now add two dozen dodgeballs into the mix and you can see what made this day interesting.  The sixth and seventh grade kids got to play backboard bombardment (AKA basketball dodgeball) on this special day where only one of the teachers was their real teacher and half the gym was otherwise occupied.  The rules had to be slightly modified though due to an abnormal playing field- one side was deeper than the other to keep the baskets/backboards equidistant from the “center” line (remember the space for the bleachers when pulled out?)- and the number of kids playing- 45+ per team.  Hence, the catch rule was discarded so no getting out by having your ball caught because we couldn’t keep our six eyes on the backboards, students getting hit, and the throwers of caught balls so something had to give.  Everyone had fun though.

How about eighth grade?  Well, for some reason the school designated gym time as picture taking time, though students came in other periods as well during their tutorial periods if they had them since there were far too many eighth-graders to get them all done in their two gym periods.  So, no dodge-ball for them.  Instead they just sat and chatted, and so did we.  The one real gym teacher took care of sending the kids to the photographers as needed.

Gym aside, I had a similar experience today as I did last week.  Last week, two Sundays ago, I had told a boy that one day he might see me in his classroom.  Three days later, there I was, in his classroom. 🙂  This last Sunday, I ran into a former student of mine and mentioned that I had seen no sign of him last time I was at his school and subbed for sixth-grade math, meaning he must have had the other math teacher.  So naturally two days later I had him in gym right at the start of the day!  I should keep doing this, but of course now that I realize the connection it won’t work anymore. 😉

So what will tomorrow bring?  Who knows- I’m still trying to find a job.  That’s how it goes in a sub’s life…

Wednesday was one of those specials days. That is, subbing for a gym teacher. But first, let me talk about the days before this one. Monday, I took a full day job at one of the furthest schools from me. It was a bit of a mixed bag as well as a slight disappointment. I knew this was an 8th grade teacher so I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fact that this was a half-day job that was mistakenly entered in as a full day, so I ended up only working half the day. Actually only a couple of hours. This allowed me time to seek a half-day elsewhere, but I didn’t find one. I did find a half day for Tuesday and took it knowing that a job would be hard to find that day since most school districts had off for Veteran’s Day, but not for Monday afternoon. The mixed bag for this day was the teacher taught both mat and science. When he came back, he taught social studies. Jack of all trades here, like an elementary teacher? 😀

So next day I didn’t set my alarm as my half-day was in the afternoon. Just after six, r-i-n-g! Job assignment opened up for the morning. Cool. 8) So after quickly eating breakfast and getting ready since I had to be there in an hour, I filled in for the special-ed reading teacher at a junior high. Unlike my two periods yesterday, I had to work four periods. Breaking even I suppose. These were actually two block classes so it didn’t seem like four periods anyway. Then I was off to my afternoon assignment. Arriving there forty minutes early (it was almost down the street with a start time an hour after my end time at the other school), I sat in the lounge and had an early lunch. This assignment was pretty much like my assignment last week for two days. I met with a couple of groups of kids in the teacher’s mini-room, typical of some special ed pullout teachers, and went to help in another room later on. Well, I tried anyway- it wound up being another pullout. The last students of the day didn’t need me, so I had an extra break at the end. 🙂

Back to Wednesday.  The gym teacher was still there when I arrived, so he explained what he wanted me to do with the kids.  They started off with laps around the gym then moved into kickball.  I had 5th grade at the start, and they of course knew what they were doing.  The second class had a lot of home runs because the teacher set the bar for home runs pretty low.  At least for the older kids.  I’m sure with the younger ones the zone is fine, but with so many 5th graders kicking home runs it really needed to be set higher.  This reminds me of playing kickball outdoors when the weather is nice.  It is really different.  No walls, no ceiling, no automatic home runs, no ground rule doubles when the ball hits the basketball backboard…  Anyway, back to the present.  The second half of the morning was Kindergarten.  After they did their five laps, we practiced basic motor skills like hopping, skipping, galloping, etc before going into kickball.  From 5th to 5- quite a difference.  Now I had to teach them kickball, but they can only take in so much at once.  The real teacher will have to reteach them I’m sure, adding rules I didn’t cover.  There were a few who had played before, but to most it was a new thing.  The afternoon was quite different.  There is a student teacher in this class who was out observing another student teacher in action at another school in the morning.  In the afternoon, they swapped positions and came to this school.  Kickball struck out and the new home run was dodgeball.  Bad baseball analogy aside, it wasn’t regular dodgeball, but a variation with two medics on scooters (those square things on four wheels sat on by gym students across the nation, not a Razor if you’re wondering) who can tag their teammates who are out to get them back in.  Additionally there are pins set up at the back of either side that can be knocked over.  If all of them get knocked over, the other team wins.  During the afternoon I of course took a back seat in all of this, but when the student teacher inserted himself into the game, I just had to join the other team.  😈  Too bad I am terrible at most sports, dodgeball included, but it was a blast anyway.  I’ll have to join in more in the games on the weekends at church.

Today was 7th and 8th grade LA/Lit.  More on that tomorrow though since I will be doing the same thing.

Okay, thanks to today this will be a two-part post.  See my next post for the reason. 🙂 Yesterday I had the privilege of attending my nephew’s high school graduation.  He actually attended two of the same schools as I did growing up.  One of those schools I have subbed at several times.  The other one was the high school.

We arrived at my brother’s house shortly before 11AM.  We then waited for the other invited guests to arrive, Alex’s grandparents (mother’s side) and half-brother.  It’s a sad thing to mention that Alex’s mother died when he was just six.  His mother’s other son was rejected by his father (not my brother) and so was raised by his grandfather instead.  There were other issues at the time, but it would be inappropriate for me to mention them here as they are private family issues that have since been resolved.  So, there were seven of us in total not including Alex.  These days, at most graduations it is unusual to get more than four tickets.  I suppose since they used an auditorium in addition to the gym there was more room for guests.

So, at about 11:20 or so we were off, with a short stop at my home to put some ribs in the oven because my brother’s oven took just this time to stop working.  Ours is electric and so was pretty safe to use unoccupied for a couple of hours.  When we arrived the entire front parking lot was filled of course, as by now it was 11:45, just 15 minutes until commencement began.  There were people parking across the street and down one of the connecting streets.  Fortunately for us not everyone knew about the lot behind the school, where the faculty parks (the front lot is student parking and, if they still use it, a practice “field” for the marching band in the fall).  We found a few spots still open and we were set.  We got out of the car and headed in.  Nine minutes to go.  We headed right into the gym, the three women (my mother, Alex’s grandmother, and his Aunt) heading for the auditorium instead.  Actually, my mother had been dropped off and headed immediately in.  The other two unfortunately had to wait since the graduates were now lined up in the hall.  We just made it.  They were about to close the gym doors.  We went in, then waited by the entrance for the procession.  At noon they started coming in- some teachers in black gowns first, followed by a few students in yellow gowns I later found out were not part of the graduating class, just there to take charge of getting the rows of students standing up and lining up in turn.  They were probably juniors.  Behind them were the graduates in purple gowns.  They headed up the aisle, passing between the teachers who had positioned themselves every few rows on either side.  They took their places starting in the front and working their way back, 24 chairs at a time, 21 rows.  Well over 400 students (many seats were taken by the teachers or yellow-gowns).  Behind all of them were several rows of chairs for older guests.  To the sides- bleachers.  Once my nephew passed, we started to work our way to the bleachers, where we found some seats about 10 rows up.  It was pretty tight.  Unfortunately, throughout the time I kneed the one in front of me a few times…

Once the graduates were seated, the speeches started.  One teacher tried to entertain us with his speech, starting with, “This entire speech is plaigiarized…”.  The principal had a speech about how he started with the current class four years ago, and then some standard words of inspiration for the young adults.  The valedictorian’s speech was a pretty normal well-prepared speech, and then another student, a cancer survivor (one of two in the graduating class 😮 ) performed a song he wrote on the piano/singing.  He received a standing ovation.  Finally, it was time for the long, drawn out process of the students coming forward to receive their diplomas.  As their names were called off one by one, they showed a picture (of most) on the overhead screen.  There were a couple of slipups, and I think there was a slide accidentally left in of a student who was not there for whatever reason.  At first, people applauded after hearing their young one’s (or sibling’s) name, but that turned into just a single clap.  I think the graduates got us started on that, I’m not sure.  Several shouted out or whistled.  One (only one thankfully) had an air horn.  My nephew had his turn, as did a former neighbor I remember- I had forgotten their youngest was Alex’s age.  As they got to “P” I noticed there were seven Patels, a very common last name for Indian families.  They were probably all unrelated too.  I’m sure it means something, but I’m too lazy to look it up.

A final congratulation when they were all finished, and then we were done.  We were supposed to wait until all the now-former students recessed before getting up, but that didn’t quite work out.  Once half had left, the bleachers started emptying.  We met up with Alex and the three women outside, a few (more) pictures were taken, and then we left.  Alex’s brother hopped into the car with him, and the rest of us got in our vehicles in back.  When we got to the front of the building, we were just in time to see Alex peeling out in front of the school by a police officer.  Nice.  The car had no plates either…  Should have meant problems for him, but the police were too busy with the traffic.  Lucky him.

Well, we finally got back, my brother fed us ribs (which we had picked up, now done cooking), pheasant, venison, corn, and some sides.  We talked a little, the relatives left, then I left.  Day over.  I should have gotten to this blog yesterday but somehow never got around to it.  Now, you will have to wait until tomorrow for part two which should have come today..

I keep meaning to mention this bit of info.  Or maybe I already did but don’t remember.  In any event, I was at a middle school doing PE, but you already knew that.  Unlike Thursday’s PE, we actually got to go outside.  Well, there were two periods of sixth grade health, but that’s why I specified PE, didn’t I? 🙂  So, for PE 8th grade played kickball and 7th grade played soccer.  We used the baseball diamonds to play kickball.  The first class went fairly well.  They chose to play boys versus girls which worked out about as well as you would expect, being the girls at that age are more, well, feminine than a few years ago.  This of course is not meant to be sexist as there are many female athletes, most, if not all, of which can wipe the floor with me as I am a non-sports guy.  However, when talking about eighteen girls, most of them react to sports like kickball as one might expect.  It should be noted that they wanted to do boys versus girls.  I was skeptical about it, but if even the girls wanted it than I wasn’t going to stand in the way.  They outnumbered the boys too, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt.  Except the boys still issued the girls a major defeat.  The second class I didn’t even let get to the point of suggesting boys vs girls.  As soon as we were on the field I randomly picked two students as captains and had them pick teams, alternating boys and girls as long as possible.  This class was the goofiest of the day, though not matching the two classes I mentioned Thursday.  They just didn’t take the game seriously.  Well, I guess if I was going to be in high school in just a few weeks I might take advantage of a nice day outside with a sub too.  I didn’t let it bother me- I just wrote it down for the gym teacher to read when he gets back.

But where does the title come in?  Well, it has to do with 7th grade soccer, which went quite well by the way, excepting the fact that the goals were not placed across from each other which I only noticed after a student informed me that the point I was about to place the ball wasn’t center.  I looked back at the goal I was using to center the ball and it was centered as best as I could tell.  I looked at the other goal and I was putting the ball at a point that wasn’t even between the two goal cones.  What the…?  Unfortunately I couldn’t move the goal because the teacher this morning had drawn goalie boxes .  Oh well.  There were no sidelines anyway so no big deal.  The second 7th grade class is where the title finally comes into play.  How often is it one finds two students at the same school, in the same grade, and on the same team with the same name?  And by this I mean first and last name.  I actually noticed this issue weeks ago.  It was when in one class I noticed there was a boy named Peter who sounded like a student I knew from church.  Once class started I looked at him and he wasn’t the one.  Another day I noticed the name again, and found it was attached to a different boy.  Huh?  This boy did look familiar.  It took another couple times subbing for this grade before I realized the two were on the same team though rarely in the same class for some reason.  At least the classes I subbed in.  My guess is they were purposely given different schedules to aid the teachers.  However, when it came to PE, there was only one time available per team so both Peters were in the same gym class, though different teachers.  Well, for soccer the two classes combined and I took the boys out on one field while she took the girls out on another field.  So, you guessed it: Peter vs Peter.  They aren’t really two of a kind other than their name.  They look different, and in soccer one defended while the other played on offense.

Oh, and only one was the Peter I knew.  He goes to a different church now, but he did attend mine a few years ago. 🙂

I was in conversation with another teacher and he happened to say this about the current eighth grade class.  After today I would agree on this for a few students with a wish that they would grow up soon.  These students are the ones teachers have in mind when they say they will never teach middle school.  One of the eighth grade PE classes had a several students that could fit this category.  They would not settle down and listen to the rules of the game they were to play.  By the time they finally got started, there was less than 15 minutes left until I had to bring them back up to get changed.  Yes, we were inside even though it was a fairly nice day outside- the other two classes were outside and apparently there are only two fields to play softball.  I can’t say, unfortunately, that eight grade was the only issue.  One of the sixth grade classes also drove me nuts.  It took awhile to start with them as well, and it took a lot of time to rotate teams between games as well.  Fortunately the other four classes went well (6th, 8th, and two 7th).

What we played was scooter volleyball.  Two nets were set up in the room downstairs (they call it the fitness room- apt because they do that there as well, like aerobics they had to do when I was there a couple of times last year).  The teams sat on scooters (those squares on four wheels/castors you plant your butt on) and played volleyball that way, using a gator-skin ball probably because the court was so shallow and the ceiling low.  Most volleyball rules applied, but some were a little different like you could catch and throw the ball, not just bump or set it.  It was also played in two-minute games so the one team who was rotated out wouldn’t have to wait long.

Well, that’s about it.  I should say I am fortunate there was still another guy teacher there with me today to take over most of the duties in the locker room.  When you think of a gym locker room you might think of a place that reeks of BO.  You’d be half-right.  It reeks all right- of Axe and other spray deodorant.  Either way, something to stay out of.  At least it’s not like when I was in junior high when we had to take showers.  Nude of course.  I think I would have to just say no to subbing for PE if that were the case.  I guarantee I would not bother with making sure they all took showers.  It’s interesting to note that many of these schools still have the showers, even if they are no longer used.  Well, used for their intended purpose.  Some schools use them as storage.

In days of banning tag from the playground because some kids “get too rough” it seems only natural that dodge-ball is so far banned, it is even anathema to mention it. Perhaps that is really only valid in the elementary school though. Or maybe the ones making the rules don’t like the attitude of middle schoolers so they say to go ahead and bash each others’ brains out with round throwable objects. In any event dodge ball is definitely allowed in middle school, or at least some middle schools. It was probably banned a while ago before the advent of soft foam balls more commonly known as gatorskin, or rhinoskin balls, though something tells me no alligators or rhinoceroses were hurt in the making of these balls. Softer even than Nerf™ balls ever were, it would take a pretty thin head to actually get hurt by one of these balls, but yet they can still be thrown across the room or even used in a pinch for kickball.

If you haven’t figured it out by now I subbed for a PE teacher today. I actually wanted to get up a 6AM to see what was available, but I woke up at 5:30 instead, and this was the only job on the systems so it’s the one I took. Of course I didn’t mind at all since it was only a mile away too. 🙂 I probably mentioned earlier that middle school PE is one of the easier positions to sub for as the other teachers usually run the show with me helping out. Not always, but most of the time. Because there was another teacher out as well, and the field was still wet from yesterday’s two downpours, they mixed up thing a little and instead of doing softball and whatever one of the other teachers was supposed to do (health?) we all played dodge-ball instead. We divided them up into six teams and they played three-minute games, rotating between games to keep things fresh. Three grades, six PE periods, all dodge-ball. There was one period where a girl came up to me and asked if she could take attendance. I had to do a double-take as she clearly had some hormonal problem. There were patches of hair on her face. Growth that would take a guy weeks to grow, so it wasn’t just peach fuzz like on many eighth-grade boys. I just took a look at Wikipedia and it looks like it could be either androgen excess or a rare disorder called hypertrichosis (werewolf syndrome). I tried very hard not to stare at her, and felt guilty every time I so much as glanced in her direction. Of course I let her take attendance even though I was really just playing at it since I was told I didn’t need to take attendance and didn’t have a record book to take it in in any event. I just didn’t want the kids to feel they could blow off gym sometime and not be missed.

The end of the day was kind of interesting. This school schedules homeroom at the end of the day, so I was on my way up to the 8th grade classroom I was supposed to be in when I found out all the eighth-graders were on their way to the multipurpose room for an assembly. Okay then, I went there instead. They had a presentation from some Japanese-American people about World War II. I’m guessing it was put together by a teacher from one of the middle schools as she was there and she teaches world history. And she is Japanese-American. They had a video of shots taken in the WWII internment camps and then two elderly people who lived through it talked to them. It was interesting, especially as one of them after going through this decided to join a special Japanese-American infantry that was formed some time after Pearl Harbor. He did this even though he like the rest of the Japanese-Americans were treated so shabbily. He had a few reasons for doing this though other Japanese-Americans understandably refused to have any part of the not-so-good ‘ol US of A at this point in history. One reason was he had very good childhood growing up under the tutelage of several teachers who left good impressions on him. Alo he wanted to prove that not all Japanese-Americans were on the side of Japan. In reality, I think very few were on Japan’s side in this war making this whole internment camp thing a ridiculous waste of time in addition to being reprehensible. This man became a teacher himself, apparently well-regarded in the circle of Chicago’s school system. It would be eye-opening for me if I didn’t already think the whole thing was wrong. In fact, when 9/11 happened we didn’t do anything even close to this to Middle-Easterners in this country and it looks like we’re still here. I still don’t trust Islam, and many others don’t either, but there have been no more terrorist bombings in this country since so it was clearly the right choice to leave them be.

My last post on my actual experiences with the kids was last week, so I guess it’s past time to write about it again.  I finished last week as a traveling social studies teacher on Friday.  That’s right, this district has a separate teacher do social studies for 1st-3rd grades.  I’m not sure why.  To get started, when I accepted the job online it showed what school the teacher works at of course.  The school is located at the far end of one of the further districts from me (read: at least a half hour drive), but this was the school one of the kids in my church group attends so I thought I might see him, and so I accepted it.  As it turned out, the system I believe lists the school at which a traveling teacher works at the beginning of the week.  However, this was Friday so all bets were off.  I actually wasn’t aware it was a traveling job when I signed up, so I didn’t think anything about it.  Now, I was at my Thursday job when I accepted this job (no, I wasn’t looking when I was supposed to be teaching so just take those fingers off the keyboard and read on! 😀 ).  By the time I got home there was a message waiting for me from the teacher telling me that I would be at a different school in the morning, and yet a third school in the afternoon.  I wouldn’t be at the listed school at all.  I am glad I listened to the message and didn’t go to the original school.  We all know I have gone to the wrong school before…

To make things short to move on to this week, the day went okay.  Second grade was working on tourist booklets for their town, with an attractive front, facts about the town on the first inside flap, and pictures on the rest.  Being second grade, they needed help on the spelling of course.  Also ideas for facts and pictures.  Being the town that had the first store ever in a major restaurant chain, that was prominent on several projects.  1st grade listened to a story on safety.  Dinosaur boys and girls were featured in this story.  Hmm- so that’s why dinosaurs became extinct- they broke all of the safety rules! 😛  3rd grade were learning about Chicago history and we worked on a timeline of major events in Chicago history.

Monday was one of those days of subbing for a teacher who was still in the building.  She is a resource teacher for grades 1-4.  Of course this was just one day so for all I know she may have 5th and 6th grade students on other days.  She had to do some testing so that’s why I was subbing for her.  There was one first grader who was pulled out three times for this this teacher, and apparently at least once more for another.  It would seem he doesn’t spend much time in his classroom, at least on Mondays.  He was pretty unhappy when I pulled him once right after the other teacher brought him back.  I really hope this level of disruption is actually helping him.  The morning was spent with three reading groups of different grades, and a push-in where I went to the classroom and worked with small groups of students.  They were reading plays (leveled for their reading level of course).  Drama can often be favorite moments in teaching and today was no different.  In the afternoon I had one pull-out (the first-grader) for math and other than that I was helping out in classrooms as needed.  They started the fourth-graders on algebra, using hands-on equations.  This is a program using manipulatives on a “scale” to solve equations by balancing the two sides.  I didn’t have any algebra until I was in junior high…

Today as I mentioned last post was a half day for me.  Fortunately it gave me time to get assignments for later in the week in my downtime.  I had PE at a school that I have had many problems at.  It’s an all-year school that actually has classes from 8AM to 4PM.  This long day probably contributes to the problems I have had.  The first two classes were 4th/5th grade classes.  The first class had a new teacher.  Actually, the teacher started the year as a first grade teacher (had been one for at least the few years I have known of her).  Apparently the 4th/5th grade teacher moved a couple months ago and the school switched the 1st grade teacher and hired a student teacher to replace the 1st grade teacher.  I compared two class lists, and it looked like two of the more “lively” students were gone as well, but they might have been moved to another class for all I know.  We played speedball in the three classes I had (40 min classes by the way, not 30 min).  The two 4th/5th grade classes did very well.  The 3rd grade class was a different story.  They played like everyone wanted the ball rather than just wanting to play to win.  Once one student had possession of the ball, most of the rest of the class surrounded him or her, pretty much preventing the student from doing anything other than handing the ball off to a teammate.  After awhile some students just quit playing- this wasn’t a game of good sportsmanship.  I actually had to stop the game and have the kids spend the last five minutes sitting down.  The nurse came in and yelled at them too (one of the students had run out of the gym to her office toward the end- he had pulled a girl’s hair and then she tried to get him back.  Sigh.  When I told the gym teacher about the morning (he arrived before I left) he knew right away who that student was…

So, that was my last few days.  If you’re still awake, now is the time to leave comments (hint, hint!).  Until tomorrow then.