On one of those email 50 question things, one question struck me differently than most others. This was mostly a fun little time wasting exercise, until question 50.

Question 50: What is the farthest you traveled from home. I’ve traveled from coast to coast. East, West, North and South. I’ve traveled far from home. What hit me was my furthest journey. I traveled farthest in the days following my wife’s death. Sitting in the dining room or in my room I traveled very far indeed. It is a journey I would not want anyone to take, but I know many who have. It was and is a long journey to take.

It has been over 5 years since that fateful day. I’ve grown and changed over the past few years. But I’ve grown and changed every year of my life. Not the path I set out on, but the path I must take.

Life, the longest journey we ever take.

Now that it is over, I can say that this is one of my new favorite shows. There are two others that stand out in this same fashion, but this show is one of the best.

If I were to pick shows, this would not have been one I picked, but then one of my other favorites would not have been on my list of plays to do. So my list of favorite shows stands at this

1) Harvey. Big white rabbit and all. I was honored to play the part of Elwood Dowd in that show. My first lead ever, and in my favorite show ever. It was also special to me because I had a special guest star in that show. While everyone else was talking to a white rabbit, I was talking with my dear departed wife. She was on stage with me, in spirit, every night. I had a wallet that I took out of my pocket every night to pay the cab driver. In that wallet I carried my wife’s drivers license and some business cards she made for her chinchilla raising.

2) Arsenic and Old Lace. My first show at WCCT. I also enjoyed this show and would love to do it again. We had a wonderful cast for this show and it was a great first experience with the playhouse.

3) Death of a Salesman. Every performance the audience would shed tears. This was a show for the ages until…

4) The Lion in Winter. Yes, a story of the very disfunctional family of Henry the II of England. A very good cast and a strong play. Actors and audience had an experience with this show, and on every performance the show got better.

What made the Lion in Winter such a good show? Hard work, dedication, good script, good direction, good cast, wonderful crew. Yes this show had all of that and more. We had such fun. Teasing back stage, fun on stage. It was a fun time before, during and after the shows. I’m glad we had the audience we did, but there were so many others that missed a very fine performance. These shows do not come everyday, and I am sorry for all that missed this show.

It was a happy and sad time today. Our show ended and we ended the day tearing down the set. Life outside the theater can begin again. Things can be accomplished, chores done and life again resumes. There are movies to see, books to read, daughters to tend to. From daughters and their new families, marriages, graduations, starting college life goes on. My life in the theater ceases until after the fall. There will be shows, they will do it without me.

There is talk of taking our show to the OCTA regional competition this June, unfortunately, I will not be able to make it. My daughter is planing her wedding for the same weekend. Family comes first. I don’t think I would miss a wedding.

This fall, my oldest is expecting her first child. This will also take up a bit of time or more.

My youngest is finishing her final year of high school, and plans to attend college next fall. This will also take up much of my time.

Life does not stand still, life move on.

More thoughts on our show in another post. It was an event that many enjoyed but it was still too few. I’m not sure how to get the word out to more, but they missed one of the best shows I’ve been involved with.

Do you remember the days gone by when jingles in television ads contained familiar samples of famous songs?  Some of these included women “Washing the Grey Right Outta Their Hair” or using window cleaner to “Put On A Windex Shine.” Last night while watching Cars while sitting four terrific kids (although two of their overnight sleeping habits…), there was a State Farm insurance add that included lines from “Sixteen Going on Seventeen” to promote their partnership with the Disney Channel to increase teenage driving safety.  My concern with that is I could not recognize the TUNE at all.  I realize that decades have passed since South Pacific, Bye, Bye Birdie, and The Sound of Music were considered cool.  And, unless radically changed to fit today’s teenage tastes, the music from these shows even less cool.  A few years ago, Gwen Stefani sampled “If I Were A Rich Man” in her aptly titled “Rich Girl.”  At least with the old ads, the tunes were familiar instead of dressed up to make them SOUND like something they are not. But I suppose companies and artists(?) have to advertise to their target demographics.  Sorry I did not try harder to come up with clips of all the ads.

It’s near 4AM and I sit on my computer not so much by choice but as an effect of the trend that has been occurring in our house for what feels like the past 4 years…  Kids waking me up all night.

Tonight we got home from a (amazing) production of The Lion in Winter and put ourselves to bed at around 1AM.  Here is a time line since that point…

1AM – move Disney off the bed and onto the floor in our room, which used to be the only place (at home) she would sleep.

1:10AM  – Disney wakes up and wants a special blankie, so I run downstairs and get it for her.

1:27 AM – Disney wants to sleep in her room (WOW!) so I carry her there and put her to bed.

1:49 AM – Disney wants milk so I run downstairs and get her some.

2AM – Disney wants to sleep in our room, so back on the floor she goes.

2:29 AM – Disney wants to sleep downstairs on the couch, so I carry her down.

2:42 AM – Disney wants a light on…  I try to wait it out…  She persists…  Light on.

3:04 AM – Disney wants back upstairs.  I get her and bring her back to our floor.

3:31 AM – Disney wants in our bed.  I cannot sleep when she is there so I tell her no.  She cries until 3:40 and wakes Christopher.  I put her in our bed.

3:49 AM – Christopher is back to bed after being awaken by Disney.  Disney is now in our bed along with Lisa and Charity.  No room for me to sleep.

3:55 AM – Unable to sleep from stress and kids in bed, I start this blog and think about the big day we have tomorrow…

I love the kids and I love everything about my life, but I realized today that I probably have not had a good night’s sleep in 4+ years.  Even on the rare occasion when a child is not waking me up, my body has been programmed not to sleep through the night — waking up at the sound of a feather hitting the ground.  I really don’t believe I have had more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep since 2004 and no more than 5 hours sleep total for a night since that time as well.

I have always prided myself on not needing much sleep – seeming to be able to function at a somewhat normal level with an amount of sleep that would leave others dragging…  But I am starting to realize some negative health effects from my major sleep deprivation.

• I have gained over 50lbs in the PAST 2 YEARS, yet I eat no more than I have and exercise no less.  In fact, I would guess I get more exercise as I run up-and-down stairs dozens of times per day.
• I have become clumsy at times – falling down the stairs, stubbing toes, etc…  Which I never used to do.
• I have trouble concentrating at times.  Where in the past I have been able to count on a laser focus — especially when there was an important task to be completed.
• I have lost some zest for my hobbies starting to see them more as chores that interfere with a possible chance for rest.

Now, I want to keep this all in perspective.  I am far from a zombie, and I am not dragging through the days.  On a daily basis my life is still the most wonderful and blessed of lives.  My family is simply the best, my friends second to none, and I simply love the gifts I have been given.  Each day I still feel is the best one yet in my life.

Yes, I still live with the knowledge that I am the luckiest person on earth!

I guess this is just a life lesson to me — I have been wrong all my life.  Sleep is not an awful consumer of time that deprives you of the joys and the accomplishments that can only be achieved and realized by being awake.  (You cannot 2x the quality/quantity of your life by eliminating [waste-of-time] sleep as I once thought in my younger years)

I am just so tired of being so tired.  It’s 4:18AM now, time to find some place to lay down and see if I can’t get at least 1 hour of decent sleep tonight.  SUPER FUN DAY TOMORROW — CHURCH, FAMILY BREAKFAST, BIRTHDAY PARTY, GIRL SCOUT EVENT 🙂 !!  Wahooo!

UPDATE:
4:30 AM – Return to bed, Disney awakes cries to be covered with her blankie.  Wakes Christopher.  Fill Christopher’s bottle, change his diaper, back to bet at 4:44.

5:09 AM – Disney cries as she does not have enough room on bed.  I move to sliver on my side and have trouble sleeping.  My last check of the clock and it is 6:18 AM.

7:23 AM – Christopher wakes up and wants bottle.  Charity barks to go outside.  I ignore her, she continues.  Back to bed at 8:30 or so.

9:08 AM – Disney and Sammie wake up.  It is time to get up for the day.  Me and kids get up, I try and let Lisa sleep a bit since she no-doubt is disturbed by all the over-night action.  She probably doesn’t get much more as the chaos of the day has begun.

9:27 AM – I am finishing this blog.  Time to get ready for our big fun day!  🙂

I am so tired…

Have I yet posted on the coincidence involved in the Halloween movie franchise (at least the original 1978 movie)?  Well… if so, I apologize.  It seems that during the  3 year run of the original Star Trek series, William Shatner was fitted for a death mask.  Perhaps if the series had continued on the Enterprise’s five year mission (“to seek out new life and new civilizations”… yada, yada, yada…), the good Captain Kirk would have met his demise (guess we will never know).  As it turns out, the mask made its way into the hands of the creators of the horror film.  You can follow the link to a more in depth detail with the Shat himself being interviewed by his daughter, Melanie..  I think he might have been confusing the actor Mike Myers with the fictional villain Michael Myers.

Thursday night, I returned to my “home” theatre after being away for a few months to play in another community group’s yard.  I don’t think ANY actor ever fully grows up.  That is another beautiful thing about theatre.  The more I do this the more I grow in determination to spread my wings and go even further.  But there is something to be said about becoming attached to one core group.  You become family as I have done with so many of the WCCT regulars.   Upon arriving at the theatre, I was immediately asked by everyone how my new experience went.  I must say that everything about it was magnificent: the cast, the director, the backstage people, EVERYONE involved was very welcoming.  But there is something intrinsically special about being around friends you have come to appreciate.  I hope I am able to return to the Huber stage as well to work with some and make more new experiences there.

As j pointed out, I believe every actor has a group that he just likes to act with.  I do not think there is one tangible reason for this.  Call it chemistry, past experience, whatever.  When you find one and hopefully more fellow thespians that you feel a bond with, it makes the on stage experience even more magical.  You feed off each others energy.  I have a list as well and my experience in St. Louis only increased that list.  There was one young man whom I did not even have a scene with (well I did in a sense) that I would be honored to share the stage with again… and it was his first time on stage!  Although I KNOW I have an abundant amount of energy, his was even more infectious.

Over the past year or so, Warner Brother’s Animation and DC Comics have released a series of direct to DVD movies starring some of their mainstay superheros.  Starting with Superman: Doomsday then with Justice League – The New Frontier) onto Batman Gotham Knight and, most recently to an adventure featuring the Amazon Princess herself, Wonder Woman .  In the coming months, we will have a Green Lantern movie.  Then a Batman/Superman team up entitled Public Enemies which is taken from the first six issues of the team up comic series.

United States President Lex Luthor uses the oncoming trajectory of a kryptonite asteroid to frame Superman and declare a $1 billion bounty on the heads of the Man of Steel and his “partner in crime” Batman. Super heroes and super villains alike launch a relentless pursuit of Superman and Batman, who must unite – and recruit super help – to stave off the action-packed onslaught, stop the asteroid, and uncover Luthor’s devious plot to take command of far more than North America.

Hopefully, this will eventually lead to the development of a live-action Justice League feature that has been in creative limbo for several years.  However, I forsee rival company Marvel unveiling their Avengers movie before this happens.

I was commenting tonight on a select group of actors I would do almost anything to be on stage with. I’ve been thinking about it since I’ve said it, and I imagine I can count them on one hand. This does not mean that I wouldn’t want to be on stage with some other actors, but there is a select group that have a special presence on stage that makes the time on stage a wonderful event.

A look, an action, a tone of voice that bring out the best in other actors on stage. They are the ones that push you to bring your best. Not by telling or lecturing, but by their actions and style. A select group indeed.

Are they the award winners? Some but not all. Are they the most friendly? That does not seem to matter. Are they the most knowledgeable? Often, but not always. The most talented? In a way, but not. Most comfortable on stage? Some are, some aren’t.
But just what makes them part of this group? That is what I’ve been trying to decipher. What puts one person on it, and leaves another off? I wish I knew. I’ll keep thinking about it, because I would like everyone I act with to be in that group. Can it be taught? 😉

About 2 years ago now, we found out a “family secret” about my husband’s aunt’s husband, Uncle Marc.  Marc is in his 40’s, and 2 years ago, he was arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with his teenage neighbor, which is alleged to have taken place between 2002 and 2006.  The story made front page news where he lives because Marc was a college campus police officer, although shortly after the charges were brought against him, he lost his job.  But the media has loved covering his story because of his former profession, and for any updates on the story, we have looked to the newspaper – it’s not like my  husband’s aunt wants to call up all her family and friends and say, hey, guess what we’ve been up to?  Which brings me to the reason I’m writing about this now.  The other day as I was checking headlines in the newspaper (which I often do because I  used to live in the area), I came across Uncle Marc on the front page – again.  But let me back up a little bit…

It’s not like we saw my husband’s Aunt Gerry and Uncle Marc all that often.  They live in Illinois and we live in Ohio.  But at least once a year, we would gather at my husband’s grandmother’s house, and they would be there with their two adorable children.  They seemed to be the perfect family; always doing things together, taking really cool family vacations and bringing their photos to the family gatherings to share.  As my husband and I started growing a family of our own, our daughters began to play with their cousins at the family get-togethers, and I remember Gerry admonishing us for staying in a hotel for Christmas 2006 (just months before Marc was charged!).  She said, next time, you don’t have to stay in a hotel when you visit Illinois, you can stay with us!  I thought that was so nice at the time, but looking back, I can’t be more thankful we didn’t take her up on that offer.

Let me clarify – Gerry is one of the nicest people.  Marc was always kind of quiet, but despite his shyness, we felt he was also nice.  When the news broke that he was charged with sexual assault of a minor, we were shocked – and immediately sympathetic toward Gerry.  But she stayed by her husband’s side, even getting herself into legal trouble in the process.  We all thought she was being naive, although I can’t really blame her for the ‘stand by her man’ attitude.  In this case though, she was wrong, and she definitely should have put her children first.  So anyway, Marc had somehow convinced her that the “rumors” about him and this young girl were untrue.  There was video evidence, however, which is how the police became involved – seems the girl’s father found the videos on their home computer.  As I said, I like to be a person who gives others the benefit of the doubt.  We met Marc and Gerry for Christmas at a restaurant in 2007 when no other family members would have any part of him.  I felt weird when I didn’t want him near my kids, and although we all dined together, we did maintain a safe distance.  But even then, I was thinking that I didn’t know the whole story.  If what Marc is accused of really did happen, I told myself, then he is sick, and he needs help.  But Gerry and the kids need some normalcy, and especially because the rest of the family is shunning them, the best thing I can do for her is to let her see my kids, and at the same time, I really wanted to see her kids.

And then, months ago, my husband and I were curious about why this was not going to trial.  We did a simple search on the internet, and what we found was extremely disturbing.  It seemed that Marc’s young neighbor had posted their wedding registry, their baby registry (all fictional), as well as an ‘I love you’ message on myspace.  The text was extremely crudely disturbing, and based upon what we read, we thought this girl was very sick as well as Marc, to say the least.  It was reminicent of the movie The Crush, if you’ve seen it.  Clearly the adult man is at fault, but at the same time, he is a victim because the teenage girl is a stalker who will stop at nothing to get what she wants.  So that’s what we thought…  And we thought that maybe her sickness is why the case was not going to trial…

As I said before, Marc was on the local newspaper’s front page the other day – again.  It’s the only update we’ve received about his case.  And what I read shocked me to the core – I guess that’s why I’m writing about it now.  As reported in the newspaper, Marc is the one who wrote those things on the registries and myspace.  Marc, who had us believing that this young girl was crazy and stalking him and everything else, is really the one who wrote these horrible, crude, and graphic remarks about their relationship on the internet.  He fooled his friends and family yet again, and by doing so, he found a way to abuse his victim – yet again.  How is this girl ever going to find a job?  If you read the things that are on the internet about her, supposedly written by her, you can see that she doesn’t stand a chance.  It’s horrible.  And why am I sharing all this?   Every family has its ‘black sheep’, I guess.   Writing about it is a form of therapy for me, I suppose.  In a way, I’m mad at myself for giving him the benefit of the doubt, even though I used to be proud of that aspect of my personality – I always try to give people a chance.  It kills me to think that other judgemental family members can tell me “I told you so” when they shunned Marc and his family early on when I thought they were wrong.

I hate the fact that we tried to give this man the benefit of the doubt, and he messed it up, yet again.  I hate what he is doing to his wife, his children, his extended family, and most of all, to his victim.  His actions are victimizing her over and over again.

It’s interesting for me to read the newspaper readers’ comments on the stories about Marc.  They all like to talk about how he’ll “get it” in prison and things like that.  I read these statements, but because I know the person, it’s different for me.  I don’t usually like to see people go to prison for non-violent offenses.  And I’m a big believer in innocent until proven guilty, which I think is a concept most often left behind in the United States justice system.  But in this case, I’m kind of wondering why it’s taken so long to go to trial.  I can’t help but wonder how much damage could have been prevented if they had sent Marc to prison already.  He is obviously a very sick individual, and I pray he gets the help he needs.  Most of all, I pray for the healing of his family, which I don’t see happening until he is out of their lives.