****** Movie Spoiler Alert *******

I took my girls to see “Nim’s Island” last week. Good movie overall, but I can’t help to think of how they portray widowers and their families. (something personal here). This is the second recent movie that I’ve seen that has a widower as one of the main characters, the other was “Enchanted”. By the end of both movies the widower dads were attached/married. Hmm, if only real life was that easy.

In “Nim’s Island”, the father hooked up with his daughter’s favorite author. A dad and daughter out in the middle of the ocean, and an agoraphobic author from San Fransisco meet. Wow, that was easy. This was computer dating at its very best (worst?). The daughter seems to set them up too. (Come on girls get your acts in gear… 😉 )

Now all I have to do is set up some sort of research on a south sea island (doesn’t sound too bad), and I will be able to find a future Mrs. Somehow I don’t think things are ever that easy.

And on to “Enchanted”. I enjoyed this movie, and all the ins to other “Disney” shows. Cartoon characters come to life in New York. Of course the beautiful princess meets up with the widower, thanks to his daughter (again, girls, you aren’t working things right!!!). Singing and Dancing ensue. At the end through many trials and of course defeating the “Evil Stepmother”, the widower and princess are together. One happy little family.

Then of course there is another widower meets girl picture. Can anyone say “Sleepless in Seattle”? This time the son of the widower calls up a radio talk show to get dad a wife. Cross country trips occur, and they walk off to what is assumed another happy family, Hollywood style.

I will admit that “Sleepless in Seattle” did a admirable job of actually portraying what a widower goes through, at least if you have enough money to pull up roots, and have the luck and or skill to get another high paying job in another city. Yes, there were many a night that I didn’t sleep, even less than my normal sleepless patterns. Yes, I’ve daydreamed about talking with my late wife. Yes, I had to get up every morning and remind myself to breath. I don’t normally need to remind myself of that anymore, but it was there. There were many things I have gone through that were in that movie. This in itself gets my vote for a good movie. Most movies I’ve seen with widower or widows don’t even touch the problems with losing a spouse. It is for good reason that losing a spouse is on the top of most lists of traumatic life events.

My last question. Why are a lot of movies about hooking up widowers? Doesn’t that fly in the face of all the “Evil Stepmothers” of fairy tale fame?

As a father, I’ve had many thoughts on my family and my responsibility to them. To me that thought is mind numbing. For the first 20 years of my being a parent, I had help. My girls had, in my opinion, the best mother on the planet. She gave everything to those girls. The last four years it has been just me. The youngest was 13, and the oldest 23 when their mother died. The oldest had been out of the house since she graduated High School. There was really no more parenting that needed to be done there. She was on her own. The next was a senior in High school and I had a sophomore and a 7th grader. These three still needed their mother, and I could not be her.

I struggle through with their help. Their mother did a good job at raising them, I just had to keep things flowing. Lucky me. The first year I had trouble keeping me flowing. The four of us at home kind of flowed with the stream for a while. Not our best moments by any standards, but we got through.

There were 2 high school graduations, 2 weddings, multiple boy friends in the past 4 years. I probably wasn’t the best at handling all that. But again we made it through. I should emphasize that WE made it through.

Video tapes of my daughters in plays were put into a safe place. Birth Certificates were put in a safe place. Those safe places were lost. I found tv remotes in the freezer. Bought more cabbage when I couldn’t find the head I just bought. Found the first head months (weeks maybe) later. By then it was a wonderful science experiment. There were a number of those experiments. But as a family WE made it through.

We all got together last January. My daughters, the extended families, grandkids and all went to the Zoo, went shopping, and just hung out. We made it through.

In the future, no matter how far apart we are, I know I can rely on my girls. We will make it through.

Not too hard to do on a day like today. It seems to be just wonderful out. I only know this by looking out the window, and seeing the sky for most of the day. The frogs are still in chorus so it can’t be that cold. Me, I’m laid up with a headache, sore throat and slight fever. Mostly lost my voice this morning, but since I’ve had nobody to talk to today, I really don’t know if it is back. I don’t feel tempted to try it either. Since I was feeling OK yesterday, I am wondering how soon this stuff can pop up.

I’ve been feeling a bit sorry for myself today, because I have to take care of myself during illnesses. It has been that way for many a year now, but I miss the attention I used to get. Even when S. had a job, if I was sick she would always leave me a thermos of hot tea by the bed. I used to do little things like that for her when she let me know she wasn’t feeling well (she hid it better than I did, I admit I’m a bit of a whiner when it comes to being sick) The children are good at leaving me alone when I don’t feel up to my regular self. Not to say they won’t get me things if I ask, but this is all about not having to ask.

I wonder how many married or coupled people see the little things that are part of their lives together. I will be the first to admit that I didn’t see all of them when my wife was alive. I only started seeing them in the things that were missing after she was gone. Four years later, I still see the missing little things. Things that she did for me, and things I did for her. Things done just because of who we were alone and together. Making a cup of tea when sleep was hard to come by. Picking up a single rose for no reason. Letting her sleep in while I took care of the girls, or the other way around. That thermos of tea when I wasn’t feeling well. That little hug (or big one) when I came home from work. The hand on my shoulder when I was making dinner. Little things in life that can be very important to our lives.

In the future, and in the recent past, I’ve been noticing the little things in all my dealings with other people. Those little things put together make the big things in life happen.

Have a good day looking and giving the little things.

Well, I tried to get my oldest with an April Fool’s Joke today, but unfortunately she had a similar idea to try to get me. Both of us failed. I know her too well. And since my joke was similar she saw right through it. All in good fun. She’s been trying to get me since I got her up for School on a Saturday. That had to be one of my best.

I do try to plan my pranks, jokes and other April Fools day fun on people who like that sort of thing. Getting caught by that may not be everyone’s favorite thing. I tend to plan one or two major things, and a couple of smaller ones. I have yet to make anyone really mad.

Did anyone catch the Google prank today. It was a stroke of genius. The ability to send your e-mail back in time. I wonder how many people believed that one.

Also see the following for the 100 best all time pranks.
April Fools’ day Pranks

It is about time to get some shuteye this evening, but unfortunately I’ve gotten my second wind. That never bodes well for getting a good nights sleep. While I was getting sleepy while watching a show with my daughter, just after the show ended, I’m wide awake.

I’m already getting sick and tired of the political season, and we aren’t out of the primaries yet. I’m might be physically ill by the time the general election rolls around.

Baseball news isn’t too good for the teams I follow.. Extra inning losses for both the Cubs and Tigers. While I’m a life long Tiger fan, I follow and root for the Cubs as long as they aren’t playing the Tigers. I guess you would call me a Cub convert.

A sunny warm day and warm evening would be wonderful. I think I’ve had enough snow, ice and rain to last for a while.

I think I learned my lesson about grocery shopping on an empty stomach. I just went in for some milk and potatoes for dinner this evening. I had everything else I needed. I picked up berries, a roasted chicken, some other odds and ends I didn’t need. Oh well, it shouldn’t go to waste. The chicken was very good.

I think I need to find a movie to watch for later this week. I’m not sure what I want to watch.

Oh well, I should try to sleep….

And that means that April Fool’s Day is tomorrow…

I’ve always like this day, since I have a very gullible daughter. My tricks on her are infamous in family discussions. I’m searching my devious little brain right now trying to come up with another trick or more that I can pull on anyone of my daughters.

I also have to think of a prank or two to pull on people at work.. Can’t be too bad, or I’ll get in trouble.

Anyone know of any good gags, pranks, tricks?

I’ll post if I am able to pull anything off tomorrow. Be on your guard if I know you… You will never know if a prank is in your future..

I feel like reminiscing about the past. I’m in my 49th year and will hit the big 50 next year. If I live to 100, I guess I will officially be middle age. So now is a good time to reflect on the past.

In April of 1983 I met my future bride. We didn’t know it then, but we figured it out soon enough. After a whorl wind romance, we were married the following January. Together through the years we raised 4 daughters, had fun and most of all stayed very much in love. As I said earlier, she died in 2003, but I don’t want to dwell on that. I want to remember the good times.

From the very first New Years Eve together, we shared a bottle of wine on every special occasion. Our first date, I bought her some sweet-heart roses. On days of nothing special, and for a surprise, I would get her one or more of these roses. Those are my days of wine and roses. Days that were special and days that were not. Good days, bad days, and even indifferent days. These days made my life worth living. These days gave me the strength to continue even after the very worst days. These days made me the man I am today, and the one I will be tomorrow. These days continue, they are my life.

During these days our family was most important. Other things, material things, took a back seat to all things family. But we had good times together. Our favorite thing to do was go to zoos. We planned whole vacations revolving around zoo visits. We would pack lunch and make day trips to many of the zoos in our area. These things made our life and our family.

When movies made their way to Video tape and then DVD’s our family enjoyed watching and collecting various movies. This made for many wonderful days together.

Can life be any better than the good times we have with family and friends? I hope to continue my days of wine and roses at a later time.

I am a widower. My wife died, from cancer, a little over four years ago. Since that time I’ve been 1 where I used to be part of 2. Yes, I still have my daughters in my life. 2 of the 4 are still living at home (well at least part of the time — teenager and young adult). For the most part, I really can’t say I’m lonely. I do like to spend some of my time alone.

My hobbies tend to be solitary in nature. I am in a local theater group, and that is the one hobby I really can’t do on my own. All the rest, you guessed it, can be done alone. Even blogging is a solitary activity.

Tonight I feel very much alone. My daughters are off to various locations, the dog is fed and relaxing behind the couch. I’m here typing thoughts popping up in my head. Not where I thought I’d be 5 years ago.

We’ve all been told to make a 5 year plan. I’ve never done that. My lovely wife did. Back in the spring of 2003, she started saving money for our 25th anniversary. When she died, I found an envelope with money in it. Not a lot, but by Jan 2009, it could have made a bit of an impact on our anniversary plans. I didn’t even know it existed. There was just an envelope marked 25th. We just missed our 20th anniversary. 21 days shy.

Most of that money is gone now. Most, but not all. I held some back. $25 dollars to be exact. One dollar for each of the years we would have had. That envelope was in a box on my dresser. I hadn’t opened it until today. I knew I had money left over, but I didn’t know how much. Odd that there would be exactly $25 dollars in and envelope marked 25th. I’m going to start putting money back in that envelope. I’m not sure how much I can save by January, but I’ll save something. I need to celebrate that special day in January. I’ve spent that day alone since 2004, in 2009 I plan to do something a bit different. Maybe I’ll figure it out by then…

Well, this has been a somber post, maybe lighter the next time… Maybe not. Just missing S.